I was taught about silence during my first weeks at my church Mosaiek. It started with 2 mins of "reflection time" in their services. Then 10 mins in the Chapel Services (Lectio Divina). At first I was just distracted, my mind resembling a tumble dryer of thoughts, images and feelings. But at least I became aware of that inner movement. In time, I learned to quiet the crazy spinning a little, and that was scary. All of a sudden I was reflecting on my actions, and on my life, and it wasn't pretty. I see why people would rather torture themselves than face their inner lives, especially if they're as black as mine was.
But something kept pushing me. Or drawing me. I only understood that Mystical Drawing Force much later. But I kept pressing on. Looking for solitude- time alone- and for times of silence. I would later learn that I was hearing God speak to me- not in words, but through my conscience, guilt and convictions. It was like I was awakening from some drug induced coma and seeing my life for what it was for the first time in my life. And, truth be told, I wondered if slipping back into that warm, safe coma wouldn't be easier than dealing with all this harsh reality.. But I didn't. Somewhere deep inside me something- no some ONE- was coming to life: a new me. A new being. And that being was horrified and repulsed by the old being's life.
In my solitude and silence, I was finding out who the man was that God created. Not the boy that was faking it here on earth, but the man God was looking for in me. And the man had a LOT of work to do- to restore the havoc the boy had created in his life. I learned about words like repentance , restitution, forgiveness, temptation, and about what Jesus did for me. But I'm getting ahead of myself- even secular culture is starting to see the value in becoming still! Try some solitude and silence- see what's going on in your own inner life!
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| http://www.dashinthemiddle.com/be-still-and-know/ |
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